“Coach, may I have a word with you?” Melanie asked Coach Roscoe.

“Of course, Melanie, how can I help you?” Coach asked.

“Well, I went into the boys’ locker room looking for Brendan’s backpack that he left behind, and I was shocked. Towels, jock straps, shorts, muddy shirts, old socks, and even unmatched shoes were strewn across the locker room. And the stench matched what I saw!” she said.

“Melanie, the one thing I learned in my first year of coaching was to never try to police the boys’ locker room. Oh, I gave it my best during my first year, and I almost lost my mind. I have enough stress trying to motivate and coach these boys into a successful soccer team without trying to be their mother. Uh, no offense,” he said.

“Oh, I totally understand, John. Don’t get me wrong,” Melanie said. 

She and John Roscoe go way back. They both attended school together since kindergarten. In high school, Melanie was a cheerleader, and John was on almost every sport that did not have a conflict in the schedule. Being a small-town school meant that athletically talented boys had to play multiple sports for the school to be able to field successful teams.

“It doesn’t help that we haven’t had the funds to renovate the locker rooms since we were here,” Coach said. “It’s been what, 23 years since we graduated? Those rusty lockers are barely holding onto the hinges. And the old-style open gang showers are the same as when I showered after games.”

“John, I have a proposal that I think you, the parents, and even the boys would agree on,” Melanie said.

“I’m all ears, Melanie. I spend a significant part of my life in there since my office is in the locker room. Anything you can do to help would be appreciated,” John said.

“Well, let me talk to some of the other moms and see if we can organize something. We may be able to bring some order to that pigsty. I just need your promise to let us try anything that we are able to think of—even if it might be a little controversial,” Melanie said. “It just might take an unconventional approach, but we have to be creative.”

“You have my word, Melanie. I have known you long enough to know that you might have a crazy idea, but that you are usually right. Go for it!” Coach said.

Melanie began working the phones like a telemarketer selling fake business loans. 

“Jennie, it’s Melanie. Would you be free to come over for a meeting with the other soccer team moms tomorrow night? We have a situation that needs moms to solve,” Melanie said.

“Of course, Melanie. Is it OK if I bring some wine?” Jennie asked.

“Oh, please do. It may take some wine to get the other moms on board,” Melanie laughed. 

Melanie was able to reach 12 of the moms who were available and willing to come to her house the next night. 

The next day, promptly at 7:30 p.m., Jennie arrived with an armful of wine. “Let’s keep this cold until everyone gets here,” Jennie said to Melanie.

As the other moms all started arriving, Jennie began pouring the wine. After an hour of drinking wine, the moms were all getting giggly and seemed amenable to almost anything, just as Melanie had hoped.

“Girls, fill up your glasses, and let’s get started,” Melanie shouted over the laughs. “Please find a seat.”

“I happened to go into our son’s locker room looking for his backpack after all the boys had left, and I couldn’t believe what I saw. It was disgusting. Smelly. Filthy. Old sweaty jock straps, shorts, shirts, socks, and even unmatched shoes!”

“I wondered where Colin’s other shoe was!” Suzanne slurred as everyone laughed.

“Here is my plan,” Melanie began. “If you all are willing to help, let’s go in on Saturday when no one is around and give that place a good, thorough cleaning. I mean, we sanitize that locker room like it hasn’t been in years,” Melanie said.

“I’m happy to help,” Barbara said, “but then it will be right back to the mess that it was after the next practice.”

“No, no, it won’t,” Melanie said. “We have to change their behavior so that they take responsibility for keeping their locker room clean.”

“I can’t get Dean to keep his own room clean, so how will we get them to keep a locker room clean?” Bridget asked.

“Well,” Melanie said with a grin, “we will show them how to keep the locker room clean. We will be their monitors, sort of ‘locker room moms.’”

“But how will we monitor the locker room when they are in there changing and showering?” Kathleen asked.

“Exactly!” Melanie said with a big smile. “We will monitor the locker room when they are in there changing and showering. If they drop a towel on the floor, we will be there to pick it up. If they leave their jockstrap on the bench, we will be there to hand it to them. We will embarrass them into taking care of themselves, and we will only stop showing up when they prove that they can keep the place clean.”

“Oh my, I haven’t seen Dean naked since he was nine years old,” Bridget said. “He’ll just die.”

“Hah! I haven’t seen Colin naked since that first pubic hair showed up,” Suzanne said. “He practically pulled it out at the roots.” The room broke into hysterical laughter.

“Let’s all plan on meeting at the high school on Saturday at noon and then back at school before Monday’s practice at 3:00 p.m.,” Melanie said. “I can’t wait to see their faces when they see the changes.”

Over the weekend, the moms got the locker room spotless. They reclaimed any clothes that they recognized as their sons and threw out the rest of the unclaimed jockstraps, shoes, and miscellaneous articles of clothing. That night, the fathers even showed up with paint and gave the lockers and walls a bright, fresh coat of paint.

The moms were giddy with excitement as they all gathered in the locker room on Monday afternoon. The boys entered the locker room with their normal rowdy shouting, shoving, and excitement now that the school day was over. But as they entered the locker room, they were confused as they saw all their moms in there, and more shocking was the cleanliness and the brightly colored lockers and walls. A few even thought they accidentally entered the wrong room. Their noises turned to a mystified hush as they surveyed the locker room.

“Come in, men, and take a seat on the benches,” Coach ordered.

The boys all found a seat and dropped their backpacks with the group. Each of the moms took their place behind their son as the coach began his talk.

“Men, this place has been a disaster for years. Thankfully, your moms have decided to change things here. They spent their weekend here cleaning everything up, and they will take turns assisting after the practice to ensure that this locker room reflects the kind of pride that I try to instill in you,” Coach said.

“So our moms are coming in after we finish getting dressed to clean up after us,” Dean asked.

“No, Dean. Your moms will have free rein in here as you are showering and dressing until you all show some responsibility and can take care of this place yourself,” Coach said.

“But…” Brayden started.

“BUT NOTHING!” Coach shouted. “If you don’t like your mothers in here, then behave as if you do not need your mothers in here! Now get changed for practice. Now!”

The boys all stammered and grumbled about this new policy. 

“Brayden, Coach said to get changed. Here, let me help you,” Barbara said.

“I heard him. I don’t need help,” Brayden protested.

One by one, the boys stripped off their clothes while trying to protect their modesty in front of their mothers—and their teammates’ mothers. The smart ones changed quickly and got out to the field. The reluctant ones ended up having to get naked in front of a room of mothers who were all staring at them.